How to Fix Your Messy Love Relationship
Don’t keep it forever. Let’s fix it now!
There is hope in your messy relationship.
You might think your relationship with your loved one is already on edge, but it is not. You can change it back to be a better relationship again. This thing is possible to do if you want it.
Because you will sacrifice your blood, sweat, and tear to achieve that goal. There is no shortcut way to fix your messy love relationship. It’s a long journey.
If you still read my post, I assume you have a strong willingness to make it happen.
Alright,
Here is what should you do:
Ask Yourself: Are You a Good Partner for Your Spouse?
Let’s start with yourself first.
Ask yourself, “Am I already being a good partner for my spouse?”
You think you are the protagonist in your relationship most of the time. And your spouse is the antagonist. He/she is stubborn, not caring, unmotivated, lazy, trouble maker, and so on. You think your spouse is the bad one in your relationship.
But, I repeat the same question as above, are you a good partner for him/her? Are you already be what a good partner should be? Are you:
- Loving her/him unconditionally?
- Communicating anything with your spouse?
- Patience with everything happening in your life?
- Put your spouse's need first, then you?
- Not easily anger?
- And more.
Sometimes, a messy relationship starts because of your bad personality. You always think you are a good partner, but actually, you are not. You always want your spouse to change to be a better person, but you are still a bad person. It’s impossible.
You can’t change your spouse to be a better person. Only him/her can do it.
The only thing you can do is: be a good partner for your spouse.
Try to Find the Main Issue
Sometimes, your problem looks unsolvable because you don’t know what the main issue of it is. What is the root issue of your messy relationship? Let’s find out!
It could be:
- Lack of communication.
- Her/his easy anger.
- Her/his indifferent personality.
- She/he is always late.
- Your financial principle.
- You are not satisfied with your sex life with your spouse.
Anything!
You can not do this task alone because you often develop self-justification. Let’s involve your spouse in getting this done!
Of course, your state should be in a chill mode, don’t get angry. Your goal is to find the main issue and solve your messy love relationship.
Communication Is the Main Key
This is the primary key to success in a love relationship.
You should communicate everything with your spouse. It doesn’t matter if it is good things or bad things. Never hide something from him/her!
Once you start hiding something that you think is not important for your spouse to know, you will continue this bad habit repeatedly. Then yea, you will make your love relationship unhealthy — then become messy.
Start communicating the small thing. Once you communicate the small things to your spouse, you will easily communicate about anything later on.
“Open communication is the lifeblood that keeps a marriage in the spring and summer seasons- times of optimism and enjoyment.” — Gary Chapman
Let’s say you already found the main issue with your messy love relationship. Now it’s time to communicate it to your spouse.
Don’t postpone it!
There is no better time to communicate about it than today. Let’s ask him/her for dinner at your favorite restaurant. Or maybe you can do it when watching Netflix with your spouse. Or whatever the best scene you think for this occasion.
Remember, you and your spouse’s state should be in a chill mode.
Accept Feedback with an Open Heart
If your spouse gives some feedback to fix your wrong side, please accept it with an open heart. She/he want to improve this relationship, nothing else. So whatever feedback comes from your spouse should make you a better person.
Everything becomes more manageable if you accept it with an open heart. Your spouse can communicate about your wrong sides. You also will know the bad side that makes your love relationship messy.
I know it’s not easy to accept feedback from someone — even your spouse. But you can train it! At first, you will feel upset when you hear the feedback from her/him— that’s fine.
Here is the mantra to make it easier for you,
“I can improve myself using her/his feedback so that I can fix my messy relationship.” — please note it.
Ask For a Professional Help
Sometimes, you can’t fix your problem with just the two of you.
If everything becomes so complex for you, you need someone professional to help with your relationship problem. It could be a psychologist, a married adviser, a love expert, or someone with wise thoughts.
This person will become someone outside the box.
She/he can give each one of you objective feedback. Such as: What kind of person are you? What is the main issue that makes your relationship complicated and messy? What is the bad side of yourself that you need to fix? And more.
Same as above, you need to accept her/his feedback with an open heart. Remember, she/he wants to help you to fix this problem. There is no intention to insult you.
Hiring professional help requires you to spend some money. But I think it is worth it, yea?
Don’t Involve Someone You Don’t Trust
The less head involves in your problem, the better it is.
Why?
- Your relationship issue is credential. Only you, your spouse, and maybe a professional should know.
- Not every people wants to help you. Sometimes they act fake in front of you and gossip with somebody else.
- You won’t be distracted by so many opinions from them. It affects your decision-making to take action.
- You will be more focused on your goal: Fixing your messy relationship.
- And more.
So please keep your relationship problem only for you and your spouse.
There is a day when you want to share your problem with somebody because it is too hard for you to keep it yourself. I understand. But please make sure you only share it with someone you TRUST.
Be Patience: Time Will Heal It
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet — Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Everything you do to make your relationship better is required time.
You can’t change your bad habit instantly, nor your spouse. Also, you can’t expect your spouse will become so communicative overnight. Yeah, you will not be able to fix your messy relationship in just a few days.
You should be patient.
Please let “time” do its “magic.”
Final Thought
You can’t fix your messy relationship by yourself. Your spouse should be involved too.
Because a love relationship is not about one person, but two. So you need to work together with your spouse to fix it. To make it a better love relationship again.
It’s not easy. It’s a long journey and requires so much effort and time for you to do it. But it’s worth it.
A happy love relationship = a happy person.
Final word,
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